早晨

今天蠻早起床，就起來寫部落格。

16-25June2010 我不在馬六甲。。。回去熱浪島，登嘉樓實地考察咯。。。很緊張。。。教授說連續幾天會很辛苦，因為還要早起出海取樣本。。。我票也沒買，東西也沒收拾。。。好懶哦。。。哈哈

上個星期，懷疑自己患上了輕微‘強逼癥’。。。OCD- Obessive-Compulsion Disoder

Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce anxiety, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety, or by combinations of such thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions). The symptoms of this anxiety disorder range from repetitive hand-washing and extensive hoarding to preoccupation with sexual or aggressive impulses, or with particular religious beliefs. These symptoms can be alienating and time-consuming, and often cause severe emotional and economic loss. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoidand come across to others as psychotic. However, OCD sufferers generally recognize their thoughts and subsequent actions as irrational, and they may become further distressed by this realization.

While some with OCD perform compulsive rituals because they inexplicably feel they must, others act compulsively so as to mitigate the anxiety that stems from particular obsessive thoughts. The sufferer might feel that these actions somehow either will prevent a dreaded event from occurring, or will push the event from their thoughts. In any case, the sufferer's reasoning is so idiosyncratic or distorted that it results in significant distress for the sufferer or for those around them.

Compulsions include counting specific things (such as footsteps) or in specific ways (for instance, by intervals of two) and doing other repetitive actions, often with atypical sensitivity to numbers or patterns. People might repeatedly wash their hands^[14] or clear their throats, repeatedly check that their parked cars have been locked before leaving them, turn lights on and off, keep doors shut or closed at all times, touch objects a certain number of times before exiting a room, or walk in a certain routine way like only stepping on a certain color of tile.

People rely on compulsions as an escape from their obsessive thoughts; however, they are aware that the relief is only temporary, that the intrusive thoughts will soon come back. Some people use compulsions to avoid situations that may trigger their obsessions. Although some people do certain things over and over again, they don't necessarily perform these actions compulsively. For example, bedtime routines, learning a new skill, and religious practices are not compulsions. Whether or not behaviors are compulsions or mere habit depends on the context in which the behaviors are performed. For example, arranging and ordering DVDs or videos for eight hours a day would be expected of one who works in a video store, but would seem abnormal in other situations. Put another way, if the activity helps bring efficiency to one's life, it is probably a habit, if it interferes with one's normal enjoyment of life, it is probably a compulsion. ^[15]

For some people with OCD, these tasks, along with the attendant anxiety and fear, can take hours of each day, making it hard for the person to fulfill their work, family, or social roles. In some cases, these behaviors can also cause adverse physical symptoms: People who obsessively wash their hands with antibacterial soap and hot water (to remove germs) can make their skin red and raw with dermatitis.^[16] To others, these tasks may appear odd and unnecessary. But for the sufferer, such tasks can feel critically important, and must be performed in particular ways. OCD sufferers are aware that their thoughts and behavior are not rational,^[17] but they feel bound to comply with them to fend off feelings of panic or dread.

樹。云。風

樹愛上溫順的風

以為風是屬于它的

風喜歡纏著樹

認為樹是它的依靠

一天

云在天空上往下看

見風和樹幸福的在一起

認為自己比較適合

風

數天后

樹卻看見風和云在天上起舞

眼淚化做葉子

一片一片的落下

直到干枯為止

已經不再依戀風的味道

風覺得自己不適合飄浮不定的日子

開始想念與樹日子

它更喜歡樹

但是

一切太遲了

樹再也長不出翠綠的葉子

已沒有留下風的余地

決定放棄

天空灰暗

下著令人怠慢的雨

我的心也下著雨

坐在角落

靜靜的感受寂寞帶來的空虛

天氣潮濕

吸著令人消極的

空氣

呼出冷冷的氣息

躺在床上

呆呆的想著你的影子

夜色昏暗

我躺在沙灘上聽海浪聲

滿天都是閃耀的星星

閉上眼睛

深深的把你關在心里的某個角落

枷鎖。。忘記你。。。

海洋生物学.命中注定？

18 JuNe

明天就是大学成绩放榜咯。傍晚，我的心好乱，不知怎么搞的，我把那时候在学院举办的教育展横扫的传单全搬出来，然后小心地抽起UMT的仔细看。望一望我的海洋生物学的科系简介，我发呆了有好一阵子。

凌晨一点在skype无意间认识到一位目前在UMT修读政策系的双耀。我突然察觉到有一点不对劲。我的第五个选择也是在UMT的海洋生物学。双耀开玩笑的要我叫他一声学长，我像吃了黄櫣的哑子，我就问他为什么啊。他解释说凡是填写UMT的都百发百中，我帽冷汗。。。惨了，难道是真的吗？我的心在争扎。就等明天才知道答案啦。



19 JuNe

9.30起床洗刷后拜个神，吃了早餐，我心好乱，一直心跳加速。我又躺在床上，迟迟不肯打开电脑。11.30，我终于把我的登记号码填下，再按寄出的按钮。我很着急，我把头埋在手心里，最后还是争大眼睛看，


Semakan Keputusan Permohonan Kemasukan ke IPTA

NO. KAD PENGENALAN / MYKAD：90020304XXXX
NAMA: XXXX XXX CHYNG
KATEGORI: N - Kategori Matrikulasi/Asasi Sains
NOMATRIK : MS081150XXXX

TAHNIAH!

Anda telah berjaya ditawarkan program pengajian seperti berikut :

KOD PROGRAM : GS40
NAMA PROGRAM : SARJANA MUDA SAINS (BIOLOGI MARIN)
IPTA : UNIVERSITI MALAYSIA TERENGGANU (UMT)

我不记得我的叫声有惊动到对面街正在熟睡的老太婆吗。我不知道该怎么办，这是我自己的选择。我要怎么跟爸爸交代？我什么都不想知道。。。在我脑袋里，我根本不懂他的价值，读完后是否吃香。。。

我的姑吗告诉我说，从小到大，我是个‘反对党’，别人要我停，我就偏偏要走。她也说，我是我行我素的，别人的话听不进，也不喜欢跟着别人的脚步走。就像当初选科系的时候，别人一窝峰的想要选什么竞争的医学系,饮食学,药剂系，而我这个反对党就会选冷门的科系。哈哈，真的是如此吗？我也不知道，可是说真的，我选的不就是心理学，证鉴系，海洋生物学。。。
果然如此。。。哈哈。

爸爸和妈妈只是平凡的父母，他们并不曾听闻过这个怪科系，也难怪他们会好奇地问我是否可以转系，而容易火山爆发的我就大发两位老人家的脾气。咳，真是该死的坏脾气。两位老人家很担心我的‘钱’途，还问我是什么时候开始对这个东东有兴趣的。我才回想起三年前曾经参加过的Buku Scrap比赛。

三年前，这个比赛的主题是写一份关于‘关于任何一个海洋生物’的简介报告。我选了做关于珊瑚的报告，但意想不到的是我胜出了。而我的酬劳就是代表马六甲州前去Pulau Kapas, Terengganu 参加四天两夜Program Penyelidikan Sains。我当然有机会潜水下海看海底世界的美啦（虽然不大会游泳），还有做船出海去受保护区海域看看珊瑚和焦石，鱼类等。自从我参加这个比赛开始，我就对动人的海底世界有了一层认识。

这一切的一切，难道不是命中注定吗？我并不懂如何回答这个谜题。



20 JuNe

到今天，家人对于我选的这一科仍然一知半解。我似漂在汪洋中的独舟，沉也不是，浮也不是。谁人能教我该如何是好，我是如此的无助，弱小。我担心我做错了决定（修读这科冷门的），而影响了前程，因为只修读三年（冷门的全都是这样吗？）。三年后就出来了能干什么？朋有们都是四年的课程。别烦了，28 JuNe就要去UMT报到了。只好见招拆招咯。

心。乱

你知道吗？
当风呼唤云时候，
我已经躲在树的身后，
静静地望着你，
尽管只是你的背影，
我心满意足。

你知道吗？
当她呼唤你的名字，
我已在某个角落淌血，
尽管你的她不是我，
只是听见你的声音，
我心满意足。

a tRiP tO geOrgEtOwn, pEnAng 3days2nites

8 june 2009, MONday

7 sumthing i just wake up..and i blur blur just wanna packed up my thing... my cloth havent fold up bcoz i came back form kampar,perak at 7 june. my gdness, june wanna reach my home already... me and june r going to penang tis morning..haha..we were planning to going last year but later were postpone jor.We reach Sentral Malacca around 8.30am and our ticket is 9am loh, tis tic form malacca to penang costing me RM45. After buying breaksfast which is roti only..( wana budject ma),then we begin our journey to penang loh..

Actually three other fren reach penang earlier than us one day, they were from klang named rui fen, hui bin and yee ching. they r so cute leh.. u noe wat time we reach penang o not.. we r sitting on bus for 10 hours.. my gdness my bottom wanna flat already loh..hahaha..

The bus heading to Sg.Nibong at around 6.30pm, and we took rapid bus to komtar where ruifen and the gang wait for us..and then we walk for 10 minutes to Tune Hotel from Komtar..damn heavy walking with my luggages.. After bath, we went to food court, New WOrld to having dinner. hehe, penang food charkuey tiow leh haha,so nice de taste costing me RM3.50, i think tis is standard price jor. June ordered a bowl of 'ha mee', damn spicy the taste leh..hehe.. Then we just have a night walk around Jalan Burmah, hanging around the street and looking the old well-preserved building loh...then we go back sleep jor..

BEfore sleep, rui fen take out a big map..and 5 of us were discussing where to visit for 2nd day haha. really interesting coz tis is our 1st time to gaigai depending of the map.. Just like MAt SAlleh wiTH big Bags and big MAp... Tis is our 1st night at Penang.

9 june 2009, TUESday

2nd morning around 6.30am, we got set alarm de, but no one wanna wake up haha...arond 8sumthing, we walk out from hotel and everyone of us buy a big char siew pao as break1st.

After reach KOMTAR,we wait for rapid bus 204 to KEK LOK SI TEMPLE. I got do preparation for tis u noe..which number de rapid bus go which places of interested haha.. so is easy for us to travel by rapid bus loh...

We reach there around 9am, and then we drop by at a restaurent to hav a break1st, i order a wantan mee. so nice de mee haha.. and then we start to climb kek lok si leh...

So big and tall de buddha statue leh...huah... my eye cannot blink just to see all these pretty statue and view from top of kek lok si... one thing is the guan tin bronze statue is under construct...hei, just saw some part of the guan yin... we take alot of picture until my camera broke leh.. but luckily stil can video-capturing hehe...

11 sumthing we walk down from temple, and nnot remmeber to bought some souvenier, a penang logo shirt, a bracelet, and a baju tidur for my mummy. And then we wait at for buses to the next destination haha ,LeBUh Light. haha, we took rapib bus number 204, and heading to the oldest temple in Malaysia. we drop near by Jalan mAsjid Kapitan Keling and then walk to the temple, after that we also past by St.GEorge church. Then, we went to Town HaLL and City HaLL. haha, a walk- distance to old GUrney Drive..wow.. nice weather but a bit hot lah..

At around 2pm we took a visit to Fort Cornwallis, ticket costing RM3.oo... very big de old building more alike A Famosa. THen, we walk to clock tower and tourism centre to take maps and catalogs... hehe, by looking at the map, we got passs by Swetenham Pier and Church street Pier and then to TAnjung Siti Marina where the beautiful ships stops.

u noe the crazy thing is... we take ferry from jetty terminal to Butterworth leh, and then rush back to the same ferry again..wow, how crazy is that just to take a ferry tour haha.. then we went back KOMTar by rapid bus and then walk back to hotel again....

After take a nap and cleaning ourself, we walk along jalan BUrmah just to bought 'tao sa pia'...hehe and then we heading to NEW GURHEY DRIVE haha. BY refering to the map again, we went to plaza gurney, cold air-cond loh and a big shopping mall, but our target is to GUrney Hawker Centre haha. WE ordered alot of YUmmy food leh like char kuey tiow, rojak, ha mee, wan tan mee, asam laksa, po pia....huah, then take a breath of GUrney drive's air, wow, how nice the nite view of gurney drive..

10 JUne 2009 WEDNESday

Third morning, every1 of us dun wanna wake up bczo too tired already... so every1 oversleep until 8am.. oh my gdness, we r planning to visit PeNaNg HiLL , but we reach there about 10.15am... Becoz of rui fen and the gang had visit to penang hill, then just left me and june going up.. emmme, the sad thing is rui fen and the gang hav to go back earlier 2day at 2pm de bus back to klang loh..after having our breakfast 2gether...we say bye bye and take care to each other...

haha...after that, we can only bought 11.45am de ticket up to the hill. the weather that day is stil consider fine. We hanging on top of the hilL around two hours somthing... vIeWing penang island from the hiLL are gorgeous and fantastic as well as the cold weather..

When we get down from penang hiLL, our next destination is WAT CHAIYA MANGKALARAM also known as SLEEPIng BUDDHA...

emme, on d way to the wat, we got abit lost of direction... HEHE but finally we manage to reach there haha by refering to the resident there....

SLEEPING BUDDHA with 33 metre length really make my eyes open...haha...the different between temple at penang and melacca is huge, uncomparable.. temple at penang is all big size de statue and with gd decoration... oppsosite the SLEEPING BUDDHA is DHARMIKARAMA BURMESE TEMPLE... were also a nice and beautiful temple....and lastly....we finish our last destination...

hahahhahhahahhhahhahhaahahhahhahhahha.....................but

we hav to go back by bus and then walk back to HoteL, that really make me feel tired...

When we reach hoteL is around 6.30pm..

that nite, we rediscuss our whole journey and start to packed our luggages...

We stil go out at nite to nearby street to hav a walk...

11 JUNE 2009 , THURSday

early morning i wake up... watching the sun rise from my hotell room..

so touchful de scenery... i fall in love with the sky of penang...

after check out, we walkt to nearby restaurent to hav breakfast that is 'lo mee'...

also a nice food to taste with...

then we take 9.00am de bus back MalaCCa.....

also take 10 hours de bus journey and reach MalaCCa around 6pm...

and.....our journey to PENANG has end.