早晨

今天蠻早起床，就起來寫部落格。

16-25June2010 我不在馬六甲。。。回去熱浪島，登嘉樓實地考察咯。。。很緊張。。。教授說連續幾天會很辛苦，因為還要早起出海取樣本。。。我票也沒買，東西也沒收拾。。。好懶哦。。。哈哈

上個星期，懷疑自己患上了輕微‘強逼癥’。。。OCD- Obessive-Compulsion Disoder

Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce anxiety, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety, or by combinations of such thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions). The symptoms of this anxiety disorder range from repetitive hand-washing and extensive hoarding to preoccupation with sexual or aggressive impulses, or with particular religious beliefs. These symptoms can be alienating and time-consuming, and often cause severe emotional and economic loss. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoidand come across to others as psychotic. However, OCD sufferers generally recognize their thoughts and subsequent actions as irrational, and they may become further distressed by this realization.

While some with OCD perform compulsive rituals because they inexplicably feel they must, others act compulsively so as to mitigate the anxiety that stems from particular obsessive thoughts. The sufferer might feel that these actions somehow either will prevent a dreaded event from occurring, or will push the event from their thoughts. In any case, the sufferer's reasoning is so idiosyncratic or distorted that it results in significant distress for the sufferer or for those around them.

Compulsions include counting specific things (such as footsteps) or in specific ways (for instance, by intervals of two) and doing other repetitive actions, often with atypical sensitivity to numbers or patterns. People might repeatedly wash their hands^[14] or clear their throats, repeatedly check that their parked cars have been locked before leaving them, turn lights on and off, keep doors shut or closed at all times, touch objects a certain number of times before exiting a room, or walk in a certain routine way like only stepping on a certain color of tile.

People rely on compulsions as an escape from their obsessive thoughts; however, they are aware that the relief is only temporary, that the intrusive thoughts will soon come back. Some people use compulsions to avoid situations that may trigger their obsessions. Although some people do certain things over and over again, they don't necessarily perform these actions compulsively. For example, bedtime routines, learning a new skill, and religious practices are not compulsions. Whether or not behaviors are compulsions or mere habit depends on the context in which the behaviors are performed. For example, arranging and ordering DVDs or videos for eight hours a day would be expected of one who works in a video store, but would seem abnormal in other situations. Put another way, if the activity helps bring efficiency to one's life, it is probably a habit, if it interferes with one's normal enjoyment of life, it is probably a compulsion. ^[15]

For some people with OCD, these tasks, along with the attendant anxiety and fear, can take hours of each day, making it hard for the person to fulfill their work, family, or social roles. In some cases, these behaviors can also cause adverse physical symptoms: People who obsessively wash their hands with antibacterial soap and hot water (to remove germs) can make their skin red and raw with dermatitis.^[16] To others, these tasks may appear odd and unnecessary. But for the sufferer, such tasks can feel critically important, and must be performed in particular ways. OCD sufferers are aware that their thoughts and behavior are not rational,^[17] but they feel bound to comply with them to fend off feelings of panic or dread.

樹。云。風

樹愛上溫順的風

以為風是屬于它的

風喜歡纏著樹

認為樹是它的依靠

一天

云在天空上往下看

見風和樹幸福的在一起

認為自己比較適合

風

數天后

樹卻看見風和云在天上起舞

眼淚化做葉子

一片一片的落下

直到干枯為止

已經不再依戀風的味道

風覺得自己不適合飄浮不定的日子

開始想念與樹日子

它更喜歡樹

但是

一切太遲了

樹再也長不出翠綠的葉子

已沒有留下風的余地

決定放棄

天空灰暗

下著令人怠慢的雨

我的心也下著雨

坐在角落

靜靜的感受寂寞帶來的空虛

天氣潮濕

吸著令人消極的

空氣

呼出冷冷的氣息

躺在床上

呆呆的想著你的影子

夜色昏暗

我躺在沙灘上聽海浪聲

滿天都是閃耀的星星

閉上眼睛

深深的把你關在心里的某個角落

枷鎖。。忘記你。。。